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Bad Start to the Year

I think I've been generally unhappy since the the start of the year and I'm still complaining. Bad start hah and I think there will be more to come esp. after the baby comes out. It is quite hard to be all HA HA happy happy with a baby in the house in the first place.

In Jan, I went for a sugar test and failed it. Thus I had to go for a more detailed test which I passed in the end. So all is well. But it sux when the first test failed. Der had to rub it in by saying how much I've been eating and how I should stop eating blah blah. It was in the midst of us eating at Legoland and I just got pissed and stopped eating. It totally spoiled the trip. I can't help it if I'm hungry. In fact, I remember eating much more when I was pregnant with Charlotte. I just couldn't stop eating at that time and I had lots of junk food. This pregnancy on the other hand, I think I ate lesser but had more sugar. I didn't like anything sweet in the previous pregnancy. This time, I do crave desserts. Maybe it's the difference between having a boy and a girl.

I don't know how people can say "I'll go to sleep so I won't feel hungry". I on the other hand, can't sleep whenever I'm hungry. But I soon realized it is something that one can get used to. So I started eating much less which led to me not being able to sleep well for a period of time. I am hungry all the time. I gradually got used to it and I can go without eating much and yet still be able to sleep. Maybe slightly less sleep. It's alright. I'm not putting on much weight now and the baby is still big. So I guess all is fine once again.

And then there was the issue with my mil coming over. It was upsetting enough whenever we go back to Singapore. Something always happens and we will end up quarrelling. Then when I came back with the things still fresh in my head, more disturbing news came. I am disturbed by the idea of her staying for so long and yet I can't say it. It's hard bottling it up. Der gets frustrated with me but I have no idea how to brooch the topic. When I do have the courage to say it, he will just clam up and try to sweep it under the carpet and think that it will go away by itself. Obviously it will never go away. I mean there's nothing he can do about it. It just doesn't run in his family to speak up to his mum. I don't care if it sounds nice or not, I will definitely say what I want to say to my parents. So I don't see the point in telling him things when it comes to his mum.

I can already forsee what will happen when she comes. It happens every single time! Everytime we end up quarrelling after things happen, I will just hear "she's like this! she don't know how to be a grandmother what can I do?!??" and I just have to accept it. It's over what can I do anyway right? Bloody hell.

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