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Having the Chills

If you, Derrick is ever reading this, I would suggest you close this page. It's my right to type whatever I want. I won't mince my words because this is my space.

I hardly feel unwell and this not the best time to fall sick. Yet I'm having the chills. Whenever my boob hurts, I will start to get the chills and a little temperature. It had to come at the time when i'm feeling totally not in the mood to do anything. I think I should swallow a few more pills. What I had isn't enough. Guess feeling down really brings down one's immune system.

We just got news that we will be moving back to Singapore and the first thing that came to my mind is F*** I've to face her. That fake face (literally fake. No amount of make up helps la. old means old. draw what draw) who pretends she doesn't care or even when we talk face to face she says no no it's ok. PUI! Der will be unhappy reading this but i blame it on him for making the situation like this. No amount of talk can resolve it anymore. The bloody face to face talk makes me boil. Not as if I can really say what I want and scream at her. I can be damn rude if I want to but I still smiled and pretended to me nice. I gave so many suggestions and even asked her not to come. He said she got the hint. Isn't it good i'm already the bad person? Bloody mummy boy.

What happened in the end? We could have gone back and hold a celebration for Mason. But no she came despite complaining to the world about the long flight, we had no celebration, we made the already terrible relationship terrible.

The first thing I told der is dont expect me to visit her everyday. Even once a week is too much for me to handle. Pretending to not listen to me doesn't mean I didn't say it. So Mummy boy said don't put me on the spot. Ok maybe we should stay with her. Let her get her lazy ass off the bed and do some work man. I know most will visit their in laws every week. Doesn't mean they are happy. I know most feel obliged to. Of course der lives in his bubble and will beg to differ. (Just shut up. your opinion doesnt concern me.) The fact that we have to start allocating this time make me feel sick.

I knew coming back for cny is a bad idea. There goes my last CNY without the need to face all this.

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